American Men Don’t Dance: A National Tragedy

In the best-case scenario, only 3-5% of American males participate in any form of dance training. Realistically, I suspect it’s closer to 1-2%. While my experience is anecdotal, the number of male dancers in our adult ballet training program is regrettably small. Additionally, when I attend Argentine Tango events, the gender imbalance is striking, with significantly more women than men. More notably, many of the men who do participate come from other parts of the world; few, like myself, are U.S.-born.

Side note, I hate to disappoint everyone, but none of my professional dance solos incorporated welding.

Beyond the obvious issues related to American male masculinity and the cultural shifts caused by LSD and rock and roll, which contributed to the decline of dance halls in the 1960s and 1970s, I believe the primary reason American men shy away from dance is intimidation. Dancing well is not easy, and it’s quite simple to look foolish on the dance floor—trust me, I’ve watched my own practice videos. For male beginners, the experience is often humbling and requires a great deal of grit to master any form of dance. Frankly, it’s easier to sit on a bar stool and watch sports, an activity that demands no effort. Even mastering the tango walk and embrace has taken me a decade of work, and I am a professionally trained movement artist who runs a ballet training program. To dance well and avoid embarrassment requires intense focus.

The tango walk takes years to master. Below is a recent video of my practice in class with a fellow student.

However, men can learn to dance. I’ve witnessed some men develop quickly, especially if they have prior experience in body-awareness activities like martial arts or yoga. I’ve also seen men who start off extremely awkward and untalented eventually reach impressive levels of technique through sheer practice and discipline.

Other cultures seem more accepting of male dancers and dance as a form of expression. This likely explains why most of the male dancers in the tango community I frequent are from outside the U.S. I appreciate this diversity and consider it a significant strength of the tango community. Dance fosters connections and builds bonds—something the world needs more of, not less. Additionally, dance helps us understand and appreciate other cultures, another critical need in our increasingly interconnected world.

Although shows like Dancing with the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance have helped the general public gain an appreciation for dance, I haven’t noticed a significant uptick in male participation as a result

Why We Need More American Men to Dance

Reason #1: Men Are Lonely

Male loneliness is a growing concern, with serious implications for mental and physical health:

• Friendship Decline: In 2021, 15% of men reported having no close friends, a fivefold increase since 1990. (The Wall Street Journal)
• Social Isolation: Among unmarried men under 30, 25% reported having no close friends. (The Wall Street Journal)
• Mental Health Impact: Loneliness in men is linked to higher rates of depression and anxiety. A 2023 study found that 40% of men met criteria for depressive symptoms, and 44% had experienced suicidal thoughts in the previous two weeks. (Western Oregon University)
• Physical Health Risks: Chronic loneliness increases the risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke. Men account for 80% of successful suicides, with loneliness being a major contributing factor.

Reason #2: The Ladies Are Waiting

At tango events, it’s common to see women waiting long stretches to be asked to dance. It’s disheartening. They tap their feet in frustration, cross their arms, or look away from the dance floor. It’s well-known that older women often wait longer for dances, but I’ve also noticed that younger female beginners sometimes drop out, not because they aren’t being asked to dance, but because there aren’t enough suitable partners in their age range. If they are interested in finding a romantic partner, the lack of options makes dancing less appealing. People generally stick with tango because they love the dance, but a larger, more balanced social scene would likely retain more dancers. Let’s face it: dating apps suck, and dancing is a more engaging alternative.

The world would be a sexier place if more men embraced dance.

Ideas to Help More Men Participate in Dance

1. Ladies, Invite Male Friends to Join a Class: It doesn’t have to be a romantic date. In Argentina, it’s common for siblings to learn tango together. While it may seem awkward, some credit this practice with shaping today’s popular Salon Style, often danced more open, as siblings preferred maintaining a bit of distance. Dance classes don’t need to be romantic; they can simply be a fun activity. Personally, I wouldn’t have attended my first tango class if a female friend hadn’t insisted I come along. That experience changed my life. Dance classes release powerful endorphins and reduce stress, so encourage your friends to join in.
2. Support Male Friends Who Try Dancing: Understand that it may feel unnatural at first. Great dancers don’t move naturally; they move in a way that appears natural, and that takes practice. Be patient and encouraging.
3. Start Slowly: For most men, stepping onto the dance floor with an attractive partner is intimidating. Encourage them to keep it simple. Teach them to sway gently while holding a drink—an essential prop—shifting their weight from one foot to the other, and occasionally pausing to look around. On a club or wedding dance floor, the mere act of being present is often enough. Don’t overthink it. The key is to appear relaxed, and who knows, a confident presence on the dance floor might lead to more connection off it.
   
   These two kids below are now considered two of the best in the world. Maybe the solution is to start our kids young. In Argentina they learn the tango in the kitchen and at family social events.

Additional Ways to Encourage Men to Dance

1. Challenge Gender Stereotypes
   • Highlight masculine role models in dance, such as male ballet or hip-hop dancers, to showcase strength and athleticism.
   • Educate on the athletic benefits of dance, comparing it to sports training.
2. Make Dance Accessible
   • Host men-only workshops to create a judgment-free learning environment.
   • Offer beginner-friendly classes with simple movements for newcomers.
3. Integrate Dance with Sports Culture
   • Promote dance as cross-training for athletes, enhancing coordination and flexibility.
   • Partner with sports teams to offer dance as part of athletic conditioning.
4. Promote Social and Mental Health Benefits
   • Emphasize the camaraderie and connection that dance fosters.
   • Highlight the stress-relieving and fun aspects of dancing.
5. Showcase Diverse Dance Styles
   • Introduce styles like hip-hop or salsa, which may feel more approachable.
   • Offer classes in culturally significant dances like capoeira or tango.
6. Use Media and Pop Culture
   • Engage influencers to promote dance and create relatable content.
   • Leverage social media dance challenges to reach younger men.
7. Create a Supportive Environment
   • Build communities where men feel comfortable and free from societal pressures.
   • Ensure inclusivity and focus on the joy of movement.
8. Organize Men-Focused Dance Events
   • Host themed nights like “Guys’ Night Out” with a relaxed vibe.
   • Combine dance with other social activities, like live music or sports nights.
9. Highlight Real-Life Benefits
   • Promote dancing as a way to boost confidence and social skills.
   • Educate about career opportunities in dance and choreography.
10. Incorporate Dance into Fitness Programs
    • Offer dance-based workouts that merge with HIIT or martial arts.
    • Use rhythmic music to make traditional workouts more engaging.

Let’s encourage more American men to dance. The benefits are endless, and the world will be a happier, more connected place. Drop your email into the subscriber box below as we will soon offer some affrodable online tango classes with my instructor Monica Orozco. These class links will be provided in our weekly newsletter.

Below, working with my pro partner Natalia who is also a beautifully trained professional ballet dancer. Originally from Boliva, she began studying tango when she studied ballet at Teatro Colón in Buenos Aires, tango in Beunos Aires is mandatory, but she did not receive extensive training. Natalia and and I have been working together a few months and obviously from my reaction at the end of this video, she is developing rapidly. Her classical technique has providered her tremendous form.