Learning to Dance: The Silent Lessons by Michael Cornell

The other evening, while attending a tango practica—a gathering where tango dancers come together to simply practice—I had an extraordinary experience. I danced with a wonderful follower from Uruguay, a very experienced dancer with an authentic, classical style of tango.

Surprisingly, we danced in the style of milonga, a very rhythmic dance with smaller, with more intricate steps. Many dancers find milonga challenging, and I’m no exception—it’s one of my greater points of insecurity. Tango is already humbling, but milonga has a way of laying bare any flaws in technique, musicality, or rhythm. When milonga music comes on at a tango event, you often see about 30% of the crowd retreat to the seats.

After the first song, I asked my partner about my rhythmic choices, curious about her perspective on what I was doing. Instead of critiquing or advising, she said simply, “Just follow me. Just listen.” Without another word, we embraced and began to dance again.

Normally, as a leader, my instinct is to command—to dictate the footwork and guide the direction of the dance. Though it takes two to tango, it’s the leader who traditionally takes charge while the follower responds. Yet, more advanced dancers know that, as you connect deeply, something special can happen: the concept of “lead and follow” begins to dissolve. In those moments, you move together as if you are one, rather than two individuals. It is this fleeting magic that I think keeps people coming back to tango, night after night.

That evening, with my partner from Uruguay, I decided to truly listen—not just to the music, but to her. I responded to her movements, and immediately, my dancing transformed. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Dance often conveys more than words can say, and this partner taught me more through our shared movement than any conversation could have. In those six minutes, I felt my dancing reach a level I could never have imagined. It wasn’t an intellectual lesson or a concept—it was an experience. It was the energy, the movement, and the connection that transferred from her body to mine. I’m incredibly grateful for that moment.

The point of sharing this experience isn’t to focus on my own dancing but rather to highlight that there are many ways to learn dance beyond just verbal instruction. To truly grow as a dancer, we need to stay open to different styles of learning. Here are some of the best ways to develop your dance abilities without relying on words:

1. Observing
When you’re in class or rehearsal, are you fully present? Are you watching every detail with complete focus, or is your mind wandering off to what you’ll have for lunch? Use your eyes to study, understand, and absorb everything in the room. Learning through observation is a powerful tool.

2. Listening
We often think of listening as simply hearing music or verbal instructions. But listening also includes the tones, inflections, and sounds that teachers make while they demonstrate movements. I was fortunate to study with Jonathan Watts, who had leading roles created for him by George Balanchine and Robert Joffrey. He didn’t just say “plié”; he would say “pliiiéee,” drawing out the word to communicate both the intensity and tempo he wanted. My tango teacher, Mónica Orozco, similarly conveys a lot without words—her feet seem to speak when they touch the floor. You can literally hear how she swipes or engages her feet against the wood. Listen to the floor, listen to the studio, and learn from all the sounds around you.

3. Fantasizing
Visualization is a valuable tool. Imagine yourself dancing like your favorite dancer, and practice in your living room. Don’t be afraid to play or make mistakes. Visualization helps you train your mind to think in movement, which can significantly improve your dancing.

4. The Mirror
Many dancers have a love-hate relationship with the mirror. It can mess with your head if it affects your self-esteem. But if you approach it as a tool—a microscope, not a reflection—it can be incredibly useful. Look at the things you need to work on, and be honest with yourself. I also suggest working from multiple angles. Spend time facing the barre head-on for a few months, then profile for a few more. Analyzing your movement from all sides is key.

5. Video
Video can be both a blessing and a curse, but it’s an invaluable tool. Many dancers say they hate watching themselves because it exposes flaws. I say, embrace it. Look at shorter segments of your dancing, focus on specific issues, and work on them one at a time. The growth you’ll experience is well worth the discomfort.

6. Study Another Dance Form
Branch out beyond your usual style. I once toured the USC Kaufman School of Dance, and the dean told me they look for dancers strong in more than one style, like ballet and Irish folk, or hip-hop and modern. When I danced with BalletMet, we had to perform a variety of choreographic styles, which was crucial to my development. Studying tango has improved my ballet, and ballet has helped my tango. Get outside your comfort zone—you’ll be better for it.

7. Do Your Research
When I was a teenager, the only way I could learn more about dance was through books at the public library. Even with just one shelf dedicated to dance, I learned all I could about dance history such as Diaghilev and Nijinsky. Today, you have endless information at your fingertips—interviews, historic rehearsals, books, documentaries. Take a deep dive into dance history and bring what you learn into the studio.

I hope these suggestions inspire you to take action and improve your dancing. There are always more ways to learn, but these are a few of my favorites. Now, I need to get to the studio—keep dancing and be well!

Below is a video of a recent tango practice with my partner Natalia.