The Emotional Challenges of Dance: Why We Keep Pushing Ourselves – by Michael Cornell

I wish I could tell you that after decades of dancing, you’ll never experience moments of complete frustration, but it happens—even to seasoned dancers like me. Recently, I had one of those moments. While it’s uncommon for me to be challenged by new material in a class setting, this past weekend proved otherwise.

I attended an international tango festival at the Biltmore Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. This festival gathers some of the world’s most notable tango dancers for classes, social dancing, and performances. On Thursday, I found myself in a class taught by a very famous couple, where they demonstrated a move I just couldn’t figure out.

First came frustration. Then, humiliation.

The difference between my current self and my younger self is that now, I can let these emotions pass through me. I accepted that I was having a bad day and that this moment didn’t define me as a dancer or artist. I even thought, “Eh, maybe I’ll never get this figure.” And in tango, that’s entirely possible, given the dance’s countless moves and combinations.

My class partner and I worked on the movement throughout the class. She was a real trouper, but I felt even more embarrassed because we’re somewhat familiar with each other, though we don’t dance together often. There were moments when I felt like I was letting her down. In tango, if the lead can’t guide the material, the entire execution falls apart. Though she was patient and said we eventually managed the move, I still felt defeated, unsure if I was getting the proper body mechanics.

However, I take pride in the fact that I kept my cool. When we fail, our egos can bruise, and ugly things happen—especially in partnered dancing. It’s all too easy to blame your partner, but that’s never the right approach. This was drilled into me during my professional career. Back then, discussions between partners were as emotionless as a shareholder meeting at an accounting firm. And during this challenging moment, I maintained that professionalism: calmly working with my partner, refining the movement, and staying patient.

A side note: In the evenings, everyone danced socially, and we had to pass by the table where all the instructors—some of the best tango dancers in the world—were sitting. The pressure was intense. Every time I passed that table, it felt like standing before the Supreme Court. To make matters worse, odd things kept happening. For example, my partner’s shoe got caught in her dress at one point. Humiliating!

So, why do I put myself through this?

Because, in dance—no matter the style—if you push yourself to improve, challenges will arise. You’ll face difficulties mentally, physically, and emotionally. The point of this essay is to help you understand the emotional side of those challenges. It will likely be far more difficult than the physical side. Be prepared for it. Accept it. Don’t give in to it. Understand that it’s part of the process, and use it to grow.

View the videos below to watch my growth in action as I work with my instructor Monica Orozco on the material discussed above. I share my tango story to inspire your ballet journey. We are on the same path. Thank you!

Michael Cornell

Video #1
Video #2